Develop Fierce Kindness – And Have A Devoted Friend For Life!

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There are many forms of kindness but my absolute favourite is Fierce Kindness. Once claimed, Fierce Kindness boosts our confidence, self-esteem, keeps us on track – and becomes a life-long friend.

What’s better is that Fierce Kindness is simply a ‘thought muscle’. And as you develop that muscle it will support you, help you through tough times, hold you accountable to your goals, take care of you – and like a devoted friend – will never leave your side.

A great metaphor for Fierce Kindness is a rock that over the years got thrown around by crashing waves, bashed and smoothed by sand. The resulting pebble is round, beautiful and both strong AND soft at the same time.

Like that pebble, Fierce Kindness is compassionate and understanding but fights for us and what is right. Fierce Kindness faces struggle and pain but instead of getting angry or shutting down just keeps getting stronger. Fierce Kindness will do the hard thing because it’s best in the long run instead of avoiding the short-term pain by taking the shortcut.

So, here are 5 examples of how Fierce Kindness can help!

  1. Your inner critic starts on you: Fierce Kindness says, “You again? Back off or you’ll have ME to deal with!”
  2. You’re struggling to focus and get something done: Fierce Kindness says, “I know you would rather be somewhere else right now, so make a choice and either do it – or don’t do it!”
  3. You’re afraid of doing something: Fierce Kindness says, “I’m here for you. You know what you need to do – and I know you can handle it!”
  4. You’re feeling depressed, exhausted or hating yourself: Fierce Kindness says, “It’s OK sweetheart. I know it’s crappy but this will pass. You’re awesome and I love you. {HUG}.”
  5. You’re about to skip out on your yoga class for the 3rd time: Fierce Kindness might say, “This is the 3rd time – go and keep your commitment to yourself – but I know you’re tired so why not go to the beginner’s class to make it a bit easier?” And yet Fierce Kindness is just as likely to say: “I know this is the 3rd time you’ve skipped out on your yoga class, but you’re exhausted. Stay home, have a hot bath and an early night – and NO TV. It’s bed for you!”

FIERCE kindness isn’t soft and mushy, but it never bullies you either. It’s never bitter, it doesn’t blame and it doesn’t feel self-pity – although it’s excellent at empathising when YOU feel those things. FIERCE kindness looks at the big picture, the long term, your values and goals as well as taking into account how YOU are doing. It is STRONG, WISE and COMPASSIONATE.

And the fabulous thing is we ALL have a FIERCE and KIND part of ourselves to connect to – a part of ourselves that also loves and accepts us unconditionally.

For me Fierce Kindness takes the form of a Lion – rather like Aslan in the Narnia stories. For others it may be a warrior goddess, a wolf, Mother Teresa, the Dalai Lama, an owl. Images are a great way to access feelings and emotions quickly – so it can really help to give your Fierce Kindness a form or symbol to remember it by. Just ponder for a moment. What would represent Fierce Kindness for YOU?

In Summary: FIERCE Kindness is a thought muscle that grows with use. It is both a way of looking at the world and an inner ally that helps you cope with ANYTHING in life.

So next time you notice you’re feeling upset for whatever reason, take a few moments. Breathe deeply and look inside for your Fierce Kindness – imagine the image or symbol you chose – and listen to what it has to say to you.

“Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.” Theodore Isaac Rubin

What form does your Fierce Kindness take?
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This entry was posted in Confidence & Authenticity, Kindness & Compassion, Loving Ourselves, Self-Esteem & Self-Respect, Wisdom & Spirituality and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Develop Fierce Kindness – And Have A Devoted Friend For Life!

  1. Jay Platt says:

    Excellent post! I particularly like the metaphor of the rock. It’s a great one and something to remember.

    • Emma-Louise says:

      Thank-you Jay! Glad you liked the article. I also love the rock to a pebble metaphor – that all that pounding can make us smooth and beautiful if we let it… And if you’re reading this comment, Jay has a wonderful inspirational story, blog and movie coming soon: http://www.jayplatt.com/index/blog_index.html Warmly, EL

  2. Great post! That strength we have inside ourselves that guides us through the tough times, the sweet times and many of those in-between. Thanks! Erika

    • Emma-Louise says:

      Thanks Erika! We all have that strength inside us – we just need to RECONNECT to it! (Easier said than done, I know…) Warmly, EL.

  3. Wendy says:

    Fierce kindness can be expressed to myself or to others. To others it would look like I am tough on the person but it is coming from a stand and commitment I have for that person. As a coach I will be challenging my coachees and fierce kindness expressed work wonders.

    • Emma-Louise says:

      Dear Wendy, Thanks so much for taking the time to comment! I am curious, challenging in a fiercely kind way – that would be assuming the very best for them, that you believe they are capable of more? Let me know! Warmly, Emma-Louise

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