I’ll start with one of my favourite jokes: A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He’s sat there drinking when he hears someone say, “Nice tie!” But the bar is empty except for himself and the bartender at the far end of the bar. A few sips later a voice says, “Great shirt!”. Confused, the man calls over the bartender and says, “I must be losing my mind, but I keep hearing these voices saying nice things about me.” The bartender replies, “Oh, that’ll be the complimentary peanuts!”.
OK, so that has nothing to do with personal development exactly, but I hope it made you smile!
So, it was Mae West who said, “Flattery will get you everywhere”. But far better than flattery is a genuine compliment or praise. In fact whether it’s in the workplace – or in personal relationships – did you know there’s an ideal ratio of praise to criticism? Apparently so – and it’s 6:1, that means to keep your partner, employees, co-workers or loved ones happy make sure that you give 6 compliments for every 1 criticism…
Now we all know that a compliment can lift our spirits and make our day. But how do you give a genuine compliment? What are the best things to say? Well, whether you say these to your Mom, loved one or to a friend, I guarantee that giving more compliments will make the other person feel great about themselves – and give you a boost too!
First, here are 3 Top Tips to make sure your compliment sticks:
- 100% mean your compliment (or don’t bother!). We all have #$%*! meters. When you say something glibly (quickly and without being sincere) it can often hurt more than it helps. Instead, make the effort to think about that person and really mean what you say.
- Look the person in the eyes. Nothing says sincerity like eye contact.
- Use the person’s name. Often we’re around someone so much, or we’re so familiar with them, that we forget to use that all important word – their name!
So, whether you compliment your Dad, loved ones or friends – spread a little love and happiness with these 15 compliments:
- “I/My friends/family love spending time with you.” Knowing that we’re good company leaves us feeling truly valued. And when your friends and/or family enjoy spending time with us, we feel like we belong too. Awesome!
- “I was hoping that would be you!” Let someone know you’re not only happy to see them, but that you were HOPING it was them!
- “I’d rather spend my day/weekend/evening with you!” If you’ve made a choice to spend time with someone – especially if you’ve given something up to do so – let them know. Priceless!
- “I really like who I am when I’m around you!” In other words, you’re saying, “You make me feel good about myself.” Fantastic!
- “I love you.” Look into their eyes as you say it, pause and really MEAN it, then give them a hug (with a squeeze thrown in). For added effect make eye contact again after your hug. If one of you doesn’t shed a tear, I’ll be surprised – but don’t let that stop you 😉
- “I love it when you say (weird) things like that!” What you’re saying is you’re unique and I love it! But use this compliment with care and only when you’re 100% sure you mean it! – or it could backfire.
- “I enjoy spending time with you. I’m so glad you’re my friend/Dad/partner/child.” Great to say any time…
- “I don’t know what I’d do without you!” What you’re really saying is, “You are an essential part of my life”. Lovely!
- “I was just thinking about you.” In this busy world, who wouldn’t want to know we’re in someone’s thoughts? We feel valued, interesting and cared for. YOU were just thinking about ME? Awesome!
- “_______ (insert their name here), you can handle this.” Show you trust that someone knows what to do. Who wouldn’t want to know that you think they’re capable, intelligent and strong?
- “Take your time, ________ (insert their name here).” When you tell someone to take their time (and mean it!), you’re giving them permission to be. You’re trusting them and you’re also giving them breathing space. I LOVE to hear this one.
- “I really admire the way you handled that.” Complimenting someone’s integrity, skills and wisdom is empowering for EVERYone to hear.
- “_______ (insert their name here) I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.” We all want to be needed, valued and trusted.
- “Great job _______ (insert their name here).” You noticed what I did, AND you thought I did a good job. Thank-you so much! Now I feel competent, strong and that you really value me!
- “You make me (so) happy!” Need I say more?
Final thought: I don’t know if you noticed, but sometimes the best compliments are when you share how the other person makes YOU feel…
So, go ahead, “Make someone’s day!”. And remember, for the perfect compliment, be sure to mean it, look them in the eyes AND use their name whenever you can. Now go and spread the love!
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Share yours by commenting below!
If you liked this article about relationships and compliments, you may also like:
- 10 Top Questions to Help Identify Your Strengths – Without The Struggle!
- ACTIVE Listening – Guaranteed to Boost Your Relationships, Business AND Make You Popular!
- Are Your Friends Good for you? 5 Simple Steps to Review Your Friendships and Find Out!
Like this post? Click LIKE or Share below!