Reclaiming our life is easy if we can relearn ONE simple skill: How to say “No”. And don’t be fooled, this is nothing new for you. For a while there when you were small, you felt quite at home saying “No”. You probably even loved it! But we were trained out of it by grown-ups – and now YOU are the adult and you have a choice. You can say “Yes” OR you can say “No”. But KNOW this: What makes the difference between people who enjoy life and people who are stressed and overwhelmed is one word, “No”.
No as power! As a child, our first taste of power comes from the word “No”. When we first learned to say “No” to what was asked of us – we loved it!
But then we were taught, and sometimes shamed into considering other people – often the needs of the harassed parent. We get taught we’re NOT the centre of the universe and that other people have feelings, wants and needs too. In addition, for our own safety and development we are taught that others ‘know what’s best’ for us. After all, our “No” could put us in danger.
So it’s no wonder our “No” loses its potency! Our “No” is often unacceptable to grown-ups and we learn to do what we’re told in order to be safe, accepted, loved and cared for.
The world of Yes: Now as adults in the modern world, the world of “Yes” has opened up. Whatever career or subject we want to learn about, whatever activity we want to do, wherever we want to travel, it’s all available to us like never before in history. Literally anything is possible. Add on technology that means we are in contact with everyone at all times – phone, email, social media, messaging. And on top of that, add the HUGE number of choices we have to make everyday – what to eat, what to wear, which insurance policy to get. There are things other people expect us to do – things we need to do and things we want to do. Is it any wonder that we’re in a state of overload? We have a super-abundance of choices and tasks and it is stressing us out!
Decide what Really Matters: So, one of the most powerful things we can do – is relearn how to say “No” – both to ourselves and others. In this busy, modern world there will ALWAYS be more to do than time available, you simply need to decide what really matters to YOU!
Remember: By saying “Yes” to one thing, you are automatically saying “No” to something else – by saying “Yes” to long working hours you are saying “No” to family or self-time, by saying “Yes” to going out every night this week, you are saying “No” to being rested and at your best during the day.
How to Reclaim your Life? It’s all about self-respect and self-esteem. So, respect and esteem your Self by being conscious about your choices. Begin to say “Yes” ONLY to things that enrich and enliven your life, and begin to say “No” to the things that drain you. Wondering which is which? Pause. Listen to your heart. Trust your deepest instincts. Follow your gut, your intuition. That’s what it’s there for. And life will get easier.
and share with your friends and colleagues!